If stress can set off an FMS flare, and if my FMS is truly not under control, then I'm going to have one hell of a flare-up soon. I fully expect to wake up tomorrow aching from head to toe. It might not be FMS; it might just be a broken heart.

Our sweet, goofy Golden Retriever, Hank, died today. It was expected, yet not. He was only twelve and a half years old; old for a big dog, but not old enough for us to be fully ready for it.

I still plan on hitting the pool tomorrow and swimming, but we'll see how far I get. Between a shoulder that's giving me hell (not FMS related, more old martial-arts injuries related) and losing him, I'm not going to beat myself up if I don't hit 100 laps.

Real life sucks sometimes.

link | posted by Thumper at 8:26 PM
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w00t!

I hit 100 lengths of the pool today; it took about an hour and seventeen minutes, and I was pretty drained by that last lap, but I did it. I went in thinking 80 again, but I hit 80 and still had juice left, so I kept going. At 90 I was thinking I felt pretty good still; at 95 I was thinking “please, God, let me do five more…” When my energy drained, it went quick.

I realized, too, that I don’t remember the last time I did any weight training. I’ve been so focused on getting into the pool and seeing how many laps I can do and if I can do at least 2 more than the time before that I sort of forgot about the weights. I’m not sure when I’ll get back to them, either… I figure if I’m having a really good time swimming, then I’ll keep at it, and not let going to the Y turn into a chore.

Besides, there’s this creepy guy who likes to stare… if I skip the pool for weights, he’ll be awfully disappointed.

link | posted by Thumper at 5:08 PM
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It’s still status quo… I feel like an album stuck in a groove (eh, that shows how old I am, too) repeating the same thing over and over. Pain levels still down, endurance still up. Though, I was a little sore this morning; we spent most of yesterday digging flower beds and planting petunias and impatiens, so my back was feeling it when I got up.

We headed over to the Y and hit the pool; I stopped at 80 laps again (well, I’ve been corrected—it’s 80 lengths of the pool, not full laps, I’m told) but got all of them in in just a hair over an hour—64 minutes.

I must have hit a vein when I gave myself the HGH last night—I’ve got a real nice bruise on the injection site. It’s turning a very pretty shade of purple.

link | posted by Thumper at 7:27 PM
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How very depressing.

I’ve taken 50 doses of HGH; my weight isn’t changing, my measurements are the same.

Now, my endurance is up; I hit 80 laps in the pool today and was still ready to do other things afterwards. But I’m not losing weight or inches.
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link | posted by Thumper at 4:41 PM
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Fortunately, the little voice in the back of my head was wrong; the base pharmacy did get a supply of Genotropin in, and supposedly will keep getting it. I’ll be sure to put in for the next refill earlier, though, just in case.

I think I have about 4 or 5 more doses until I hit a total of 50—one box of 5 cartridges. I figure at that point I’ll retake my measurements and see if anything has shifted; my weight is staying constant, but my jeans are a little looser. Not much looser, but still… I’ll take what I can get. If I’m starting to shift to having more lean muscle mass, all the better.

The day before yesterday I hit the pool and did 60 laps in about an hour. Today I did 60 in 45 minutes, so I kept going until I managed 70. It was still a little under an hour, but honestly, that was it. I had no more energy to keep going. And it’s all swimming at this point, I didn’t walk any of it (as far as the sheer swimsuit… I threw it out and am just wearing mens’ trunks and a t-shirt. Much more comfortable, too.)

My pain levels are still low; I’ve got some neck and shoulder discomfort, but it’s not especially painful. I think it’s stress related (our elderly dog is not doing well at all) and a low dose of motrin is taking care of it.

link | posted by Thumper at 2:22 PM
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52.

Yep, I did 52 laps today, and only stopped because it was after 1 p.m. and the Spouse Thingy needed to leave in order to get to work on time. I started out swimming today (slowly at first to warm up) instead of walking, and did more swimming than walking. My endurance is most definitely up there: afterwards I didn’t feel like I’d been put through the wringer, and I had plenty of energy to wash my car and run a few errands. It’s now about 5:35 p.m. and while I can tell by 9 p.m. I’ll be tired, right now I feel like I can do more.

One bump in today’s road—I went over to the Refill Pharmacy on base to get a new supply of Genotropin (the HGH), and they didn’t have any. The tech on duty called the hospital and they don’t have any either. The pharmacist will call in a special order tomorrow, but I only have 6 doses left… I will not be a happy wabbit if something happens and they can't get it in time. My understanding is I can miss a single dose, after that my levels will drop off sharply.

Logically, I know they can get it in a few days, but there’s that little voice in the back of my head whispering gloom and doom.

link | posted by Thumper at 2:43 PM
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The Workouts…

I started out just walking in the water, then worked up to jogging. After a couple weeks I tried swimming a few laps, but very few—I think I managed 6 laps that first time, just enough to let me know I could do it, but I seriously lacked endurance.

Now… I do weights twice a week; I was spending about 40 minutes in the weight room, but since I switched to the slow lifting method, I’ve cut that to about 25 and I feel it a whole lot more. On the days I lift weights I also get in the pool and walk/jog for about 40 minutes.

On non weight training days I get in the pool for about an hour. I start off walking, then pick up to a jog—and pretty close to a full out run, as fast as I can go. I run for about 10-15 minutes, then swim 8-10 laps. Back to running for a bit, then swim again. In about an hours’ time I do 30 laps in a 25 yard pool and quite a bit of running.

The key to being able to increase the number of laps I do has been, I think, the use of a snorkel. My biggest problem with swimming has always been trying to breathe; I was just never coordinated enough to swim and get my head up corrected to suck in enough air. With the snorkel I can keep my head in the water and still get enough air.

Out of all the things I’ve tried over the years, I’m loving the water stuff the most. I hate being in swimsuit in public (which, I discovered today, is nearly sheer on the backside and I’ve been exposing a whole lot of myself…), but being able to do real physical stuff thanks to the support of the water just feels damn good.

link | posted by Thumper at 7:17 PM
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Something pretty cool… I got a call yesterday from someone at The Bridge Program; they help people who need to go on HGH deal with their insurance companies (because, as most of us know, just because a doc prescribes it, that doesn’t mean insurance will cover it.) My scrip is covered, but they were able to hook me up with a nifty little device that will make it easier for me to mix the drug (which comes in this funky 2-chambered cartridge), and to eliminate air in the syringe. I talked to the rep yesterday around 11 a.m., and around 1 p.m. today a Fed Ex truck pulled up, and delivered the mixer, plus this nice little cold pack carrier in case I go somewhere overnight (gotta keep it cold), as well as a seriously nice all-purpose bag with lotsa pockets. Free stuff. Gotta love it.

My endurance is holding up nicely, and my overall pain is still down. I’m hitting the pool at least 3 times a week, usually more, and doing weights a couple times a week. I feel stronger—I’m not shrinking yet, but as I gain muscle that’s got to follow. Right?

Nutrition-wise… I’m not doing as well with that as I should, but for the most part I’m doing better than I used to. I’m not skipping meals (well, generally; I still tend to forget about breakfast some days) and I’m not pigging out. This last week I’ve eaten out more than normal (hey, this really cool Japanese Teriyaki place opened at the mall; I’ll get tired of it soon; until then I’m indulging and then not eating much for the rest of the day); other than this week I’ve kept it to a decent breakfast (whole grain toast, or oatmeal bars), a sandwich for lunch (made with a multi-grain bread and lean meats; no cheese, no chips), and then some kind of lean meat with a veggie and starch for dinner.

The problem I see with my nutrition, because I am Insulin Resistant, is carbs. I know I take in way too many high glycemic carbs. I’m toying with a low carb diet; I’ve been staunchly against law carb diets in the past—because I do know someone who died as the direct result of being on one—but everything I’ve read points to making that type of change for insulin resistant people. I’ve had more than one physician mention it as a viable option. So I’m thinking about it—but so far just thinking, and doing a little more research.

I don’t think I could make an Atkin’s Type Program a permanent lifestyle thing, but if it’ll take off some major body fat and lower my risks for Diabetes Mellitus and cardiac problems, I could do it for a while.

I think.

link | posted by Thumper at 8:28 PM
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This is going to sound rude; it's not meant to be--but I still have to say it.

Please, don't take the existence of this blog as a reason to spam me with every cure for chronic pain under the sun. You may think you have the perfect solution, and your heart is in the right place, but a hundred other people are thinking the same thing--I'm getting an awful lot of emails promising everything from quick, sure cures to long draw out "this'll suck for a while but it'll work" things. I've heard about most of them over the years, and have already discounted most of them as being personally viable.

Especially, please don't track me down on other places I hang out online. I applaude your ingenuity in finding me on my various playgrounds, but I consider the private messages there every bit as intrusive--perhaps moreso--as I do the spam that graces my email.

This is what I'm doing to help control my pain. HGH and exercise. It is why the blog exists. Suppose I threw something new into the mix; I'd never know what did the trick. The HGH or whatever new thing I just added. I'm going to stick this one out for at least 6 months to see where it goes.

I do appreciate the thoughts and the consideration in trying to point me into what you my think is the right direction. But it feels like spam, and I'm asking you to please refrain.

link | posted by Thumper at 9:07 PM
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Oyvey, I was right… the weight workout did kick my butt yesterday, and for the first time in a long time I’m walking around with post-exertional muscle pain. I wasn’t quite crying for my mommy as I tried to get up this morning, but I’m feeling every muscle I worked on yesterday.

This is a good thing, not a whine about FMS pain. The pain tells me I actually did something yesterday. Hopefully it’s also whispering “in 6 weeks you’ll be buff… in 6 weeks you’ll be buff…”

I can dream.

link | posted by Thumper at 11:02 AM
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